Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forever
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Author's Note: This story is set around 2001. In my version, the kiss between Kelly and Kevin sparked a brief relationship that quickly fizzled out. Each chapter will be based on a word beginning with letters from A-Z.
1. Chapter 1

**Aftermath**

Kelly stared at the second hand as it made its way slowly across the face of her watch. This watch—there was some small bit of irony in that. This was the same watch Joey had given her on their first Christmas, this was the watch he handed her before her almost disastrous wedding to Max, and this was the watch that seemed to be the keeper of her fate….just as it always had been.

"An amicable divorce," she sighed, sitting down on the edge of the tub. "Doesn't sound so great now."

One. Two. Three. Four. She ran her hand through her hair, swallowing hard to fight the urge to gag. Her head throbbed, but her brain refused to stop the constant barrage of silent questions. What was she thinking? What had she done? What had they done?

She heard the footsteps on the stairs behind her.

"Hey," he said softly, his fingertips making quick work of the buttons on his powder blue oxford. "How long have you been up?"

She closed her eyes, silently chastising herself for being so incredibly stupid. "Not long," she whispered, reaching down to pick up a few of the empty bottles from the floor. "Ummm," she groaned, holding her head as the simple motion of bending over threatened to be her undoing.

"Yeah," Joey said softly. "I know what you mean. I feel like someone has been using my head as a bongo drum." He looked over at Kelly, who sat down on the couch, her head in her hands. She was tense, he could tell. She always carried her tension in her shoulders.

"You weren't were you?" he asked with a smile, sitting down beside her, lightly jabbing her side in a feeble attempt to cut the tension.

"Joey," she said quietly. "This was…."

"Don't." He lifted his hand. "I think we both know what this was. We don't have to discuss it and make it some kind of huge deal."

"But it is a big deal, Joey." She looked up at him, the sincerity in his eyes melted her. This is exactly how last night happened. She never could resist those eyes. "We are getting a divorce….tomorrow." Her eyes widened and her hands covered her face again. "My God," she groaned.

She felt his hands on hers, the warmth of his skin permeating through her entire body. "It's ok," he whispered. "It's just one of those things. It's just our way of saying goodbye…that's all it was, right?"

His eyes met hers. He allowed the question to hang in the air for a moment. As long as there was no answer, there was still hope.

"Yeah," she said quietly, watching with sadness as the light faded from his face. "That's all it was. It was goodbye.

She took in a sharp breath as she stood and walked towards the counter. Her eyes were closed tightly and she felt her hands tremble as she forced them open and stared down at the countertop. "Damn," she whispered. "What the hell am I going to do now?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Bombshell**

"Miss Cramer?" The doctor stepped into the room, his eyes meeting hers for a moment as he extended his hand.

Kelly shook his hand, forcing a smile as sat on the edge of the narrow exam table.

"I'm Dr. Coker," he smiled, glancing back down at her smile. "I see you live in Llanview. Are they running low on obstetricians there?"

She forced another small smile, grateful she had at least managed to find a doctor with a sense of humor. "No," she said quietly, "It's just..." She shook her head. Where would she even start?

"It's ok," he said smiling slightly. "One of those towns where everyone knows your name."

Kelly nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, at any rate, I'm glad you came in today. We've got the results of your blood tests here and you're definitely pregnant. Judging by your HcG levels, I'd say you could be far as eight weeks or so. Of course we'd need to some additional tests to determine the exact numbers, but..."

He stopped for a moment, looking over at Kelly.

Her hands picked at the thin, white paper covering the table.

"I'm guessing this wasn't something you were expecting," he said softly.

A spurt of air rushed from her lips. "Not exactly," she said, taking in a deep breath.

"I can give you a few minutes," he offered. He stepped towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Is there someone you can call? Someone who could meet you here?"

Kelly closed her eyes for a moment-her soon to be ex-husband? "No," she whispered. "No, there's no one to call."

She pulled the belt of the robe tighter around her. Nausea seemed to come in waves. It could be morning sickness, she reasoned, or it could be the simple knowledge of the mess she'd made of her life.

Hearing a soft knock at the door, she stepped quickly down the stairs. Joey's face stared back at her through the glass panes of the door. She paused, her breath catching in her throat.

"Joey," she managed, her voice barely more than a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

He couldn't know. There was no way. She'd gone to a hospital an hour and a half outside of town. No one knew here there. No one.

"Hey," he said softly, standing outside the door. His eyes studied her face. The dark circles, the bloodshot eyes, the pink splotches on her neck-all signs that she was upset. "Kel," he stepped closer to her, reaching his hand out to touch her arm. "You ok?"

She hadn't prepared herself for this, for how seeing him would affect her. She wanted so much to tell him, but she couldn't. She knew just what he would do and she couldn't live with those question...never knowing for sure why things happened the way they did.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice breaking. She cleared her throat quickly, straightening as she spoke. "Yeah, yeah...I'm fine. It's just...allergies...I guess."

Joey stood, unconvinced. "Okay," he said hesitantly. "Ummm..can I come in for a minute. I've got some papers I need to give you."

Kelly sighed. Papers. Relief flooded her body. Once these were signed and all this was over, she could tell him the truth, but not before. She wouldn't be that woman-the one in a marriage because she was pregnant. She knew Joey...if he knew, if he even suspected, he'd call off this divorce in a second.

"Kel!" Joey called, a little louder this time.

She looked up, suddenly aware he'd been speaking to her. "Yeah, yeah..sorry."

"Are you sure you're okay. You seem...I don't know...kind of out of it?"

"No, I'm fine." Just pregnant with your kid...

"Alright well, they were going to messenger these over, but I figured I'd bring them. I mean we don't need to so formal with all this, right? We're still friends?"

He looked at her, his eyes warm and caring.

She felt tears begin to sting her eyes unexpectedly. "Yeah...Yeah...of course we are." She turned her back to him, desperate to conceal the beginnings of tears.

She felt his hands gently turn her back around.

"Hey, she said softly, his eyes full of concern. "What's going on? You want to talk about something? You know you can tell me...whatever's going on...whatever this is."

"It's...It's...nothing," she insisted, wiping her eyes. "It's...just I don't know...it's weird..."

Joey sighed, staring down at the papers. "Yeah, it is...it seems weird to know its over...but it doesn't mean we're over. I mean we started off as friends...we can still be friends. I can't imagine my life without you in it, Kel."

"Yeah, me either," she sighed. If you only knew... She reached up, wiping her face again. "Anyway..." Shaking her head, she began again, "So...how long before we go before the judge to finalize all this?"

"Ninety days," Joey replied.

"What?!" Kelly's eyes widened in shock. Ninety days? That was three months. How the hell was she supposed to wait three months to tell him this?

"Well yeah..I mean we both agreed to do a no fault divorce. Otherwise we'll have to bring in lawyers and all that. I didn't think that was what you wanted. I thought we wanted to keep this simple...you know..." He smiled at her. "Friendly."

Friendly? Yeah, it's been very friendly. She let her hand rest over her stomach briefly. "Right, well...ninety days then...I guess that's ok...we'll just wait."

Joey smiled. "Yeah, I mean...I don't have any big plans, do you?"

"No," Kelly sighed, smiling half heartedly. "Nothing much going on here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Conversation**

"Joey?"

He felt her hand rest softly on his shoulder as he turned around. "Hey," he said softly, forcing a smile and standing to pull her into a gentle hug.

Jessica smiled, pulling back from the hug and staring hard at him. "Wow," she breathed, "What's wrong with you? You look like you just lost your best friend."

Joey took a deep breath in, sitting down at the table as she took a seat across from him. He slid the papers across towards her. "In a way I think I did."

"Oh God, Joey...I'm sorry. I didn't know things had happened so fast." Jessica shook her head sadly as her eyes roved over the page. In her heart, she'd always believed Kelly and Joey belonged together-just like she belonged with Christian. It was hard to believe things were really ending for them.

"Well, I mean...there's ninety days until the hearing where we finalize everything, but basically..." His voice trailed off as he tried again in his mind to reconcile his emotions. "This is it."

"And you're sure...You're sure there's no way the two of you could work it out. I mean...you love her, Joey. I can see that. Anyone could see that."

"It wasn't enough...not for her. If you'd asked me a year ago if there was anything that we couldn't get past, I would have said no, but this whole things with Kevin is just..." He reached out, tearing the corners of the cocktail napkin.

"I know," she whispered, reaching out and taking his hand. "But Joey they were grieving and I know that doesn't make it right, but grief can make you do crazy things." She paused for a moment, thinking back on her own past. "Believe me," she whispered, "I know."

Joey sighed, "I know, Jess-I just...I don't know if I could ever really get past this. Do I love her? Yes-I think I'll always love her, but I don't know if I can ever forget the fact that she betrayed me like she did."

She nodded, standing up slowly and taking a step towards him. "Just promise me you'll think about?" Leaning down, she kissed him softly on the cheek. "Life is way too short."

He smiled back at her, taking a last drink from his glass as he listened to her footsteps fade behind him.

********************************************'

"Thank you." Kelly flashed a weakened smile and reached into her purse for a tip. "Have a good day," she whispered, closing the door softly.

She opened the paper bag moving towards the living room as she pulled out the bottle of prenatal vitamins.

The doorbell rang out again.

"I'm sorry," Kelly said, opening the door. "I probably need to sign for these don't I?" She stopped, staring at the face in front of her.

"Jess?" she whispered, glancing quickly at the bottle in her hand. "Give me just a second. I uh...have someone on the phone."

"Kelly," Jessica stepped inside the door quickly. She reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling the bottle closer to her.

"Jess," Kelly began, knowing her explanations would be useless. She felt the bottle being pulled from her hand and she relented, turning and walking towards the living room. It only took a moment for the sound of quick foot steps to follow her.

"I don't even know where to start with the questions," Jessica replied wide-eyed.

"That's good," Kelly breathed, "Because I sure as hell don't have any answers for you."

 **Discussion**

"Mom?" Joey called out as he walked into the kitchen. His eyes scanned the room, hoping she'd be there. Today, of all days, he could use someone to talk to.

"Joe?" Kevin stepped into the kitchen, his steps cautious as he approached. "Mom went out for a while. She should be back a little later."

"Great," Joey said quietly, turning quickly to head back out of the door.

"Joe, wait,"

Joey turned around to look at him again. He'd tried so hard to get rid of the anger, but sometimes it would hit him...especially on days like this. "What?" he snapped, his tone a bit more harsh than he intended.

"I just...I was wondering if we could talk...you know...just talk...like we used to."

"I don't think so, Kev...not right now." He turned, walking out and pulling the kitchen door closed behind him. Sighing, he ran his hand over his face. He couldn't do it today-not today.

"How did this...When did this..." Jessica reached out, taking the glass of water and nodding gratefully. She took a sip, looking up at Kelly. "I feel like I should be doing this for you."

"It's ok," Kelly smiled, taking a seat beside her on the sofa. "I've had some time to process."

"I just...I can't believe you're pregnant...I mean after everything that happened with you and Kevin...I thought it couldn't get any more complicated, but...

"It's not Kevin's baby," Kelly said softly.

Jessica's eyes snapped to attention. "What do you mean it isn't Kevin's baby? How do you know that? How do you know for sure?"

"Kevin and I never...we never actually..." She shrugged.

Jessica's eyes grew wider as she sat there. "So...it's..."

Kelly nodded. "It's Joey's," she breathed. "Joey's the father...And before you ask, no...he doesn't know."

 **Emotional**

"Really? The night before you filed the papers?" Jessica shook her head and took another drink from the glass. Talk about timing.

"I know...I know. It sounds crazy, but we had both had too much to drink and we were in that place..you know where you're thinking about how it used to be and...it was just...it was stupid and irresponsible...and..." Kelly sighed, raking her fingers through her hair.

"And you both agreed that that was all it was? I mean you talked about it?"

Kelly paused. "Kind of."

"Kind of?" Jessica smiled. "Kel, you either talked about it or you didn't...which is it?"

"We said it was goodbye." She felt her eyes sting a bit, the tears beginning to form. Hormones, she reasoned, or at least that's what she'd say.

"And is that what is was?" She could see the pain in Kelly's eyes. It was the same pain she'd witnessed in her brother's face a few hours before.

"We're getting a divorce, Jess. I think it kind of has to be."

"You're having a baby, Kel...that could change everything." She reached out, touching her arm supportively as she saw the tears beginning to well in her eyes again. "You are going to tell him aren't you?"

"Of course I am...I just...I don't want to tell him now. I mean, we both know what he'll do."

Jessica started at her in disbelief. "Of course you know what he'll do. He's going to want to be here. He's going to want to take care of you...and this divorce..he'll never divorce you now."

"Exactly," she managed, her voice breaking. "He'll stay here-forever...whether he forgives me or not, whether he really wants to be in this relationship or not, whether he loves me or not...He'll never walk out on his child."

"Kelly," Jessica sighed, "He loves you. He's always loved you. You know that."

"I know how much I hurt him with Kevin. I know that he agreed to this divorce. He's the one that brought it up. This is what he wanted, Jess. He didn't want to be with me anymore, so I can't tell him this now." The sobs she'd been holding in all day broke through and her shoulders began to shake.

Jessica nodded, pulling her closer and wrapping her arms around her friend. Talk about timing.

 **Feelings**

Kelly let her head fall back against the soft sofa cushions. She sat the glass of ginger ale down on the side table swallowed hard, feeling the cool liquid slow on the way down.

The soft rapping on the door made her sigh as she pushed herself off the couch. If she looked half as bad as she felt, she should frighten any visitor away in seconds.

"Joey," she said quietly, her hand trembling slightly as she held the door's handle. "What are you doing here?"

"You uh...you forgot to sign one of the pages," he said softly, his voice still warm and kind.

"Oh," she breathed. She wasn't sure what she had expected...him to come back, tell her this was some huge mistake, seeing it on paper had made him realize that this wasn't what he wanted.

She met his gaze again, realizing for the first time that he was still standing outside. "Sorry," she muttered, stepping aside, "Come in." She waited a moment to let him step inside-long enough for the awkward silence to settle over the room.

"You didn't have to come all this way. I would have come to the office or you could have messengered them over..."

Joey nodded. "I know..I just..." He stepped towards the living room, stopping for a moment, studying the items on the coffee table.

"Well, it's good to know I haven't lost my touch." He smiled gently turning back to face her.

"What?" she managed, her throat nearly closed and her mouth suddenly impossibly dry.

"It's why I came back over here. Earlier, I could tell something was wrong and obviously something is."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kelly stammered, amazed he couldn't hear her heart pounding from his spit a few feet away.

"Come on, Kel." He gestured to the coffee table. "Ginger ale, soda crackers..." He watched as the last bit of color seemed to drain from her face. "You're the one that told me how your stomach gets when you're stressed."

She felt the air seep from her lungs like a deflated balloon. Pushing past him gently, she lowered herself onto the sofa. At the moment, she didn't trust her legs to hold her.

The couch shifted slightly and she could feel the warmth of his body as he sat close beside her. "Better?"

Those eyes-they could always get to her, so kind and warm. They sparkled when he smiled at her and they always showed her such love.

Before she knew it, the tears began their familiar trail down her face and she might have been able to get it together had it not been for his arms as they wrapped around her.

She closed her eyes tight as she let her head fall to his shoulder.

"Talk to me, Kel," he whispered, concerned by her sudden burst of emotion. "You can tell me anything."

And with all her heart, she wished she could.


	4. Chapter 4

**Geraldo**

"Come on Kel," Joey smiled, passing the tub of buttered popcorn over to her. "You know you want some."

Kelly's stomach lurched, the smell of the butter was nearly overpowering. "No, really...you have it. I'll pass."

"Your loss," he smiled, tossing a handful into his mouth. He smiled as she took a sip from the bottle of Sprite he handed her. "You gotta admit this helps."

"Joey, this is really sweet, but you don't have to stay..."

"Oh, come on. I cannot leave you in this kind of mood. You have become my personal mission. We're friends and friends do not let other friends wallow." He gestured towards the tv screen, pressing the volume button with a smile.

"Friends do however, sit and stuff their faces while watching cheesy talk shows."

She sighed, flashing a weak smile. Maybe this would be nice...just something to take her mind off the mess her life was becoming...just for a few hours.

"Oh...this is good," Joey laughed, "Look," he pointed at the screen, "How can you not feel better about your life after watching something like this?"

Kelly nodded, trying not to react as she felt his hand wrap around her shoulder. A friendly gesture on his part. The tv screen was a distant second to the feeling of his hand on her bare skin.

"Yeah, cause that'll make it better," Joey muttered.

Kelly glanced up, her eyes falling on the people on the screen. One woman, One man, Geraldo Rivera, and a manila envelope. "You have got to be kidding me," Kelly breathed.

"Yep," Joey said, nodding emphatically. "I've seen this one before. They run it a lot. This woman." He wiped his hand on the napkin, before pointing towards the screen. "She was married to him, but then he filled divorce papers, and all of sudden she's pregnant."

Kelly blinked again, willing the people to fade from the screen. She glanced at Joey, the greasy, buttery fingerprints on the napkin proving to the final straw. Her stomach lurched again and she flew to her feet and ran from the room.

She grasped the side of the sink as she stood in the bathroom. Outside the door, she could hear him calling her name-asking her if she was okay. 'Hell no,' she wanted to say, but she didn't. She reached for the damp washcloth from the rack above and silently sobbed into it.

 **Health**

"Kelly?" Joey called through the bathroom door again. She'd been in there for a while now and he was honestly getting a little worried. "Come on, Kel...I just want to know you're ok."

She took a deep breath, wiping her face with the damp cloth. Steadying herself she grabbed the handle of the door, pulling it open slightly. "Sorry," she whispered, stepping outside the room but immediately away from him. "I think you might better go...I must be coming down with something."

"Oh no...I'm not leaving you like this," he said, immediately concerned by her pale complexion. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but you look horrible. Maybe I should call a doctor or something?"

"No!" The word flew from her mouth much too quickly and she brought her hand to her face, trying to will it back in. "I mean, no...it's okay...really. I'm sure it's just a bug or something. I'll be fine." She checked his expression. He was stubborn and firmly committed to taking care of her. He always had.

"Really, Joey, you should go...I mean there's no reason for both of us to get sick. I'll be fine. I'm just going to crawl into bed and try to get some sleep."

"Fine." She watched as he stepped into her room, flipping on the overhead light. "At least let me get you settled."

"Joey, you really don't..."

"You really think you're going to change my mind about this, Kel?"

She sighed, smiling weakly as she crawled into the bed. This is how it would be, she thought. He'd spend every waking moment of every day making sure she was okay. She couldn't do that...not to him.

"Thanks," she whispered sadly.

 **Information**

He turned on the closed captions, afraid the noise from the television might wake her, or at least alert her to the fact that he was still downstairs. If it were anyone else, this behavior would certainly be classified as over the line, he thought-creepy at least, but not Kelly.

Taking care of her was a much a part of him as his arms and his legs were and leaving her when she could need something was a concept so foreign he couldn't even comprehend it.

He glanced over at the window, the rays of sunlight casting shadows on the wall as a car pulled into the driveway. Jessica.

"Hey, Jess," he said as he met her at the door.

"Hey..." Jessica's eyes narrowed as she stepped into the door and past him. "What are you doing here? Where's Kelly?"

"She's not feeling well. She's upstairs sleeping actually. I just wanted to stay and make sure she was okay."

Jessica nodded. "Oh...what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure actually...I think maybe some kind of bug. She wasn't feeling well when I got here." He gestured to the crackers and seltzer on the coffee table. "Virus maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe..." She allowed her voice to trail off as she glanced upstairs. "Well, I really kind of need to talk to her, so maybe I'll just stick around til she wakes up...see if she feels up to talking then."

Joey nodded. "Sure, I mean...if you want. I guess I'll take off then."

"I'll let her know you were here," she said smiling at him.

"You know what, don't. She was pretty insistent that I leave earlier. I just didn't feel right leaving her like that, you know?"

His eyes fell on the envelope-the copy of the divorce papers he'd brought by earlier. "I guess I'm going to have to get used to it though, huh?"

She stood, wrapping her arms around him. "Joey-just talk to her. Tell her how you feel. You two can make this work. I just know it."

Neither of them spoke for a moment as he considered her words. He finally nodded, walking towards the door. "Maybe another time," he said softly. "When she's feeling better."

 **Jabs**

"You thinking about anybody in particular?" Kevin approached slowly, watching Joey as he grabbed a towel from the gym bag and wiped his brow. He'd been watching his brother from the doorway for almost ten minutes and his intensity had barely wavered. He was clearly blowing off steam and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why.

Joey glanced over readjusting the laces of one of his gloves. He steadied the bag in front of him, inhaling deeply. "Not now, Kevin."

Kevin sighed. Joey had been avoiding him for months now and though he initially thought giving him space and time was a good thing, now he believed it was simply giving deepening the rift between them.

"Joe-we've got to talk sometime. You can't keep pretending I don't exist."

Joey hit the bag again, the sound of his brother's voice only spurring his adrenaline.

"Kevin. I mean it. I can't do this with you right now. This isn't the time and it sure as hell isn't the place."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Kevin reached up, grabbing a pair of gloves from the rack on the wall. "This might be the perfect place."

He laced the gloves up quickly, taking a step towards Joey and dropping his hands to his sides.

"If this is what it's gonna take to get us on the road to rebuilding some sort of a relationship, so be it. If it means you have to bash my face in to work through the anger that you have inside, go for it. I'm right here."

Joey turned, walking away. "If you won't leave, I will."

Kevin grabbed his arm. "Joe..." The blow was unexpected and knocked him to the ground. Kevin grimaced, bringing his glove to his lip and instantly tasting blood.

"You asked for it," Joey responded, turning and walking out of the gym.


End file.
